What Is the Three Steps in Achieving Happiness?in the Art of Happiness
Book Review: The Fine art of Happiness
One Sentence Summary of "The Art of Happiness": Happiness is the purpose of all existence, and so why not let ourselves be inspired by the reflections and practical advice of an unconditionally happy man, the Dalai Lama.
By His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler, 1998, and 2009 (revised version) 296 pages
Note: This guest chronicle was written by Stef & Mag, from the blog Aventures de Notre Vie
Chronicle and Summary of "The Art of Happiness":
His Holiness the Dalai Lama needs no introduction. A symbol of serenity, goodness, compassion, kindness, generosity, and dear; a being endowed with an immeasurable openness of spirit, great intelligence and also a great sense of humor.
For the bulk of homo beings, speaking in public represents their greatest fearfulness, only the Dalai Lama can serenely drink a cup of tea earlier introducing himself and speaking calmly in front of 6000 people, with a smile on his confront.
And so what is his hugger-mugger? Is it possible to compile some kind of handbook about his principles in life, his simple and articulate solutions to solve our problems and live a life of happiness? This is what Howard Cutler (an American psychiatrist) was hoping when he interviewed the Dalai Lama and wrote this book.
Part 1: The Purpose of Life
Chapter one: The Right to Happiness
The tone is set in the very showtime lines. For the Dalai Lama, "the real purpose of life is happiness; we are all looking for a better life". He adds that this quest tin can succeed if nosotros put our minds to it.
In the western earth, happiness is still a fuzzy and elusive concept, a mysterious blessing that falls from the sky. Under these weather, how is information technology possible to cultivate happiness through "exercising the mind"?
The Dalai Lama's reply is somewhat disruptive in its simplicity because for him everything begins with our power to exercise our mind to isolate the factors that lead to happiness from those that atomic number 82 to suffering. Afterward which, petty past little, we work to eliminate the factors of suffering and cultivate those that pb to happiness.
Hmm, western culture must be pretty deep-rooted in me, because I must admit that at this phase, I am perplexed by this method, because if it is that easy, why practise so few people truly exude happiness?
Let's dig a little deeper…
Chapter ii: The Sources of Happiness
Our state of mind, more than than external events, determines happiness; regardless of what happens to us (success or tragedy), sooner or later our psychological state will stabilize (in Psychology, it is known every bit a process of accommodation.) For example, the excitement and good mood that follow a salary increase fade after a sure amount of fourth dimension).
Even if studies(1) postulate that happiness is adamant by genetic makeup, psychologists generally concord in their estimation that we can work on the "mental gene" to increase our everyday happiness, but this depends largely on our attitude. The sensation of beingness happy or unhappy rarely depends on our condition in the absolute but on our perception of the situation, our ability to be satisfied with what nosotros have.
- The spirit of comparing
Our trend to compare has a potent influence upon us. Existence satisfied with life often depends on the point of comparison nosotros adopt.
The Dalai Lama explains that in Buddhism, fulfillment is based on four factors. These four constituent elements of the quest for individual happiness are wealth, textile satisfaction, spirituality, and enkindling.
He adds that from a materialistic point of view, proficient health, material comfort, financial ease, a circumvolve of friends and relationships of affection and trust are considered to be essential to savor life and to be happy.
Just for him, the key to enjoying a happy and fulfilled life is the state of mind. Equally long as we lack the inner subject area which provides peace of mind regardless of material ease or the external situation, the rest will never bring you joy. On the other hand, if the textile comfort that under normal circumstances you consider necessary for happiness is missing, merely yous accept inner peace, a degree of stability, nothing volition forbid you lot from living a life that is entirely happy.
- Inner contentment
After a certain threshold, positive desires become unreasonable and a source of unrest. The positive or negative character of a desire or an act is non downwards to immediate satisfaction, merely rather to its ultimate positive or negative consequences.
Information technology is the paradigm of the greedy person who, to satisfy his immediate want, will please in pastries and other sweets every day while ignoring the consequences to his cholesterol level and the weight gain… or the case of the thrifty person, who on the strength of saving a few pounds every week sees his bank business relationship grow.
The excessive or negative character of a want also sometimes depends on the society in which nosotros live: peer pressure, jealousy, envy… The only antidote to this source of unrest is contentment; information technology becomes accessible either when nosotros get everything that we desire or when nosotros are able to capeesh what we have.
- Happiness versus pleasance
Here the Dalai Lama shares his "tip" with usa then that we do not confuse pleasure with happiness and to avoid succumbing to destructive pleasures (addiction to drugs or gambling, unbridled sexuality). It involves asking a question before each decision, asking THE question:
"Volition this make me happy?"
In this way, the accent is no longer on what we deny ourselves, but on what nosotros are looking for. Nosotros human action to give something to ourselves, non to deprive or refuse ourselves.
Chapter 3: Training the Mind for Happiness
- The path to happiness
The mind contains thousands of thoughts or unlike states of heed. There are very useful ones that must be used and maintained. Others are negative and nosotros must endeavor to blot them. Learning how negative emotions and behavior are harmful to usa and how positive emotions are beneficial is to take the first step on the road to happiness. Awareness of this procedure of learning and analysis strengthens our determination to modify little by piddling.
- Mental discipline
The approach to accessing happiness is therefore easy: positive mental states must exist identified and cultivated and negative ones eliminated. Whatsoever questions? Yep. Once once more, if the recipe is that elementary, why are there and then many unhappy people? Because change takes fourth dimension and requires patience and perseverance; information technology is a genuine learning procedure.
Whatsoever activity, whatsoever practice is facilitated by constant and regular exercise that is liable to bring nigh modify and transformation. By mobilizing our thoughts using new methods of reflection, nosotros are able to alter the mode the brain works. The mind needs to be trained for happiness.
The more you know about education and cognition about what leads to well-beingness and what causes suffering, the more yous will be capable of achieving happiness.
Chapter 4: Reclaiming our innate state of happiness
- Our fundamental nature
One of the Dalai Lama's profound convictions is that everyone has the groundwork to be happy and to access the warmth and compassion that are sources of well-being. For some people (myself included sometimes even at present), kindness and compassion remain buried and well-hidden…
- Meditation on the purpose of life
In our decision making, allow us remember that fourth dimension passes chop-chop; we must check and enquire ourselves whether we are making proper use of the time allotted to u.s.a.. Every infinitesimal is precious; even if the future offers no guarantees our daily existence is filled with hope. It is on this basis of promise that we build our future. Let united states of america think about what has 18-carat value, about what gives meaning to our lives, and rearrange our priorities appropriately.
Role 2: Human Warmth and Compassion
Chapter 5: A New Model for Intimacy
- Expanding our definition of intimacy
The threat of beingness separated from others constitutes humanity'south deepest fearfulness. Researchers have discovered(2) that individuals who have people around them, thereby receiving sympathy and affection, will exist more likely to survive wellness problems and exist less vulnerable to illness; intimacy promotes both physical and moral well-beingness. For the Dalai Lama, intimacy is one of the essential ingredients of happiness; it is based on a willingness to forge authentic links, to exist open to others, to 1's family and friends and to strangers.
Chapter 6: Deepening Our Connection to Others
- Establish a relationship of sympathy
There is no miracle recipe to effectively communicate with other people and reduce the risk of conflict; at nearly a guideline consists of approaching others with a genuine spirit of compassion.
For this, it is useful to put yourself in the other person's place, temporarily setting bated your ain betoken of view to adopt that of the other person.
Skillful means to empathize with people are to arroyo them by sharing the most basic common points, to sympathise and assess the environs in which the people we run across alive, and to sympathize people's pasts. An open mind and honesty are useful qualities.
- Clarify the foundations of a relationship
When we try to empathize human relationship issues, the first step involves reflecting calmly on the fundamental nature of the relationship, on what information technology is based. In that location are several types of relationships:
- The relationship based on power or success; the friendship lasts as long equally the wealth or social position continues; otherwise, the friendship fades.
- Accurate friendship which is based on a pillar of affection. It is based on 18-carat man emotion, a feeling of closeness which integrates the sense of sharing and communication.
If yous are trying to build a truly rewarding human relationship, the best fashion to reach this is to work at discovering the profound nature of the other person and to institute a rapport with him or her at this level instead of only on the footing of superficial traits.
Chapter 7: The Value and Benefits of Compassion
- Defining pity
Pity (Tse-wa in Tibetan) is defined past the Dalai Lama equally a non-vehement, non-offensive, non-aggressive state of mind. Information technology is a mental position based on the desire to see others free themselves from their suffering, and information technology goes hand in mitt with the meaning of commitment, responsibility, and respect for others.
- The benign furnishings of compassion
Researchers have been able to constitute(iii)(4) that regular participation in volunteer missions, acting for others with warmth and compassion significantly increases life expectancy and probably vitality in full general. Helping others leads to a feeling of happiness, soothes the spirit and lessens depression.
Office 3: Transforming Suffering
Chapter 8: Facing suffering
Nobody can escape pain — suffering is part of life. Furthermore, in daily life, the causes of pain, suffering, and dissatisfaction are mutual, while by comparison, the opportunities for joy or happiness are relatively rare.
As shortly as you accept the trouble to face up to your suffering, you lot put yourself in a position to assess the depth and nature of the problem. Against issues rather than ignoring them puts usa in a position to address them. Knowing how to transform our mental attitude in the face of suffering to better withstand it can greatly assist to neutralize sadness, dissatisfaction or discontent. Trying to avoid suffering at all costs will significantly aggravate things. On the other hand, there is no doubt that accepting that suffering is part of existence allows usa to amend withstand adversity.
Information technology is possible to costless ourselves from suffering. Removing the causes releases usa. According to Buddhist thinking, the roots of suffering ("iii poisons of the heed") are ignorance, craving, and hatred.
But in this thinking, how can i bear a bang-up loss, such as the loss of a child for example? The best way to remember the loved one who has died, to preserve his or her memory, to remember the person, is to ensure that we carry out his or her wishes. If you are overcome with anxiety, call back nearly other people who have lived through like tragedies or fifty-fifty worse ones. You lot volition feel less isolated and this will offer you some comfort.
Finally, the Dalai Lama sums up the propensity to poison our suffering in these terms: "Clearly, the want to free oneself from suffering is the corollary of the want to exist happy. But as long as we view suffering as an unnatural state, we will never uproot the causes."
Chapter 9: Self-created Suffering
- "But it'south not fair!"
With regards to our behavior in the face of suffering, the author considers that "it is often by feeding our own negative emotions that we accentuate them and too often we accentuate our pain and suffering by taking things too much to middle."
An honest, impartial and careful review of a given situation will reveal our share of responsibleness. Frequently, our natural reaction is to aspect the origin of our problems to external causes. What is more, we seek simply one cause to then try to exonerate ourselves from any responsibility.
Before poisoning a situation, permit's shift our vision of things and try to consider the incident from another angle to go out of the mindset which is feeding our sense of injustice.
- Guilt
Sincerely recognizing our wrongs can help to rectify our mistakes and correct ourselves.
- Resisting change
Guilt occurs when we are convinced that we take committed an irreparable mistake and tortures united states of america if we think that our trouble will remain permanent. Life is alter. The more we turn down to take this fact, the more than we resist the natural changes of our existence and the more we perpetuate our suffering. Admitting that alter is inevitable volition avoid a peachy deal of feet.
Chapter 10: Shifting Perspective
By practicing a shift in our vision of things, we will continue to put some experiences and some tragedies to proficient use to larn greater serenity of spirit. Never forget that each upshot has several facets. Everything is relative. Often at the slightest obstacle, our vision narrows. All the attention becomes focused on the concerns.
Admit that our entirely negative vision of a being is due to our ain perception based on our mental projection rather than his or her true nature.
- Run into the enemy differently
Enemies play a crucial role. To fully attain dear and compassion, it is essential to practice patience and tolerance. That is why we must strive to seize the hatred of an enemy every bit an opportunity to strengthen our patience and tolerance and treat our enemies with the greatest consideration because of the opportunities that they offering us to mature.
The same applies to actions which seem to us to be deadening and hard: for example, performing a physical exercise that requires effort and forcefulness. The interest lies not in the immediate pleasure it provides but in the benefits that it volition bring subsequently.
- The flexible listen
The flexibility of mind is what nourishes the power to change perspective, to broaden our vision of things and to integrate new points of view. Always seek to keep an open up heed; this ability to look at the magnitude of the universe and our little globe allows us to distinguish between what is important in life and what is not.
- The importance of the flexible mind
There is a reciprocal human relationship betwixt the flexibility of the mind and the power to alter i's point of view. A flexible mind helps accost bug from several angles and conversely to consider problems from several angles, which turns out to be a way of exercising the mind in its flexibility. On the scale of evolution, the species that are the about adjustable to changes in their environs have survived and prospered. Life today is characterized by unexpected changes that are as sudden as they are tearing.
Tackling our being with a demonstration of flexibility and suppleness allows the states to go on a absurd head in the most disturbing situations: each one of us must define our acceptable limits in relation to our system of values and our own principles.
- Finding residue
Balance, knowledge, and care to avoid extremes are uppercase skills for everyday life. Like planting the shoot of a young tree, we must wait after them with skill and tact because excesses such as moisture or sun will destroy the plant.
Chapter 11: Finding Meaning in Pain and Suffering
Finding meaning in suffering is certainly a powerful method to deal with the darkest problems of existence, but information technology is non an like shooting fish in a barrel task. When everything goes wrong, nosotros say why me? That is why we should seek the hidden sense of suffering when everything is going well, in order to take the best possible risk of reaping the benefits. Suffering can strengthen and toughen us.
"What doesn't destroy me makes me stronger." Martin Luther Male monarch
- In the face of physical hurting
Pain is a remarkable, complex and harmonious biological mechanism that exists to warn u.s. about and protect us from damage to the body. Mental posture affects the power to perceive and endure hurting; it is mentally that nosotros convert pain into suffering.
To reduce it, we must distinguish betwixt the pain that is due to hurting, and the pain that nosotros create simply by thinking nigh it. Fear, anger, guilt, loneliness, and despair are emotional reactions that are likely to intensify it.
Part 4: Overcoming Obstacles
Chapter 12: Bringing about Change
- The process of change
According to the Dalai Lama, the process of modify goes through the following steps: learning, confidence, conclusion, action, and try.
Learning and education assist to convince us of the need for change and strengthen our commitment. So, the conviction of the demand for change is transformed into determination and the determination into activity. Existence firmly determined means that we can withstand the effort required to brand existent changes. The final element, endeavour, is crucial.
To reach of import objectives, a sense of urgency is a fundamental element and information technology tin can communicate incredible energy. Even though nosotros realize that every moment is precious and that we must make the best utilize of time, why do nosotros generate inertia when it comes to making positive changes in our life? Because we are all accepted to doing things in a certain fashion, to but doing what pleases us and what we know, because we are pampered children.
To succeed, we must not slacken our effort, understanding that change does not happen overnight.
- What to realistically look
Determination, try and time are the real secrets of happiness.
If some suggest that negative emotions, such every bit hatred, anger or envy are natural parts of the human spirit and therefore there is no way to alter our mental country, the Dalai Lama is unequivocal: they are incorrect! The human existence is built-in in a perfectly natural country of ignorance. Therefore, every bit we grow, thank you to education and to learning, nosotros are able to repel ignorance and larn knowledge.
Past analogy, appropriate exercise volition gradually reduce negative emotions and strengthen positive states of heed: love, compassion, and indulgence. Combating negative emotions allows united states to empathise how the human mind works.
The man listen is as complex as it is gifted: it is able to develop whatsoever number of ways to find solutions to a diverse range of atmospheric condition and situations. Information technology has the kinesthesia to adjust its signal of view depending on the issues encountered.
Affiliate thirteen: Dealing with Acrimony and Hatred
All the negative mental views act as barriers to happiness; the about powerful obstacles to compassion and altruism are acrimony, rage, and hostility. They tin can crusade affliction (or fifty-fifty death according to studies(v)) and are destructive of all virtue and tranquillity.
There are 2 kinds of anger:
- The one that is due to a particular and special motivation can exist positive; by creating a class of energy, it tin can force united states of america to act without delay and in a decisive fashion. Just it is blind energy and that makes the outcome uncertain (destructive or constructive?).
- The i that in general leads to resentment and hatred. Zilch positive can e'er come up from this one; detest produces no benefits.
Erasing acrimony and hatred is non enough! We must actively cultivate the antidotes that are patience and tolerance; to do this requires enthusiasm and a stiff want to combat these negative emotions. Enthusiasm is the result of knowledge of the beneficial effects of tolerance and patience and the destructive and negative effects of anger and hatred.
Anger or hatred neutralize the ameliorate parts of intellect, namely the faculty to estimate betwixt skillful and bad, and the consequences of your actions in the short and long-term; your capacity to make good judgments becomes inoperative.
Hate transforms an individual, making him or her repulsive, including physically every bit the confront becomes deformed and ugly. It is accompanied by loss of slumber or ambition with increased tension. Hate targets no other objective than to destroy; understanding this should exist enough for us to decide non to allow this enemy to accept whatsoever concord of us.
To fight information technology requires preventive measures past cultivating inner contentment and serenity. When anger arrives, it must exist actively challenged and and so analyzed logically. Next, retracing the path of thoughts which triggered the anger contributes to dissipating it.
In the western earth, reacting with patience and tolerance when we are actively wronged is taken for weakness or passivity. For the Dalai Lama, reacting in this way suggests restraint, which is the prerogative of a strong and disciplined heed.
Impatience is not necessarily bad; information technology can encourage action so that things happen. An excess of patience will ho-hum you downward.
Chapter 14: Dealing with Anxiety and Building Self-Esteem
The human brain is equipped with an elaborate organisation designed to annals fright and worry. It mobilizes united states of america so that we can react when faced with danger. But excessive worry and anxiety can have devastating effects, mentally and physically. Anxiety tin impair judgment, increment irritability and hinder effectiveness; information technology tin can also generate physiological bug.
Faced with anxiety, the Dali Lama strives to cultivate the following idea:
"If this situation or these bug are such that I cannot set them, and so there is goose egg to worry near. It is more reasonable to spend one'southward energy finding a solution than worrying. If there is no way out, no solution, then there is no point in worrying, considering in whatever example, there is aught y'all can exercise about it".
A motivation that is sincere and honest tin can allow fright or anxiety to be overcome and to build confidence; if I fail, then the situation is across my forcefulness.
- Honesty: the antidote to a bad opinion of oneself or excessive self-confidence
A lack of self-confidence inhibits our efforts to move forward, and excessive self-confidence is equally perilous.
But how can I draw the line betwixt self-confidence and arrogance? It's not easy. Perhaps past maxim that in full general self-satisfaction and arrogance have negative consequences, while cocky-confidence, when information technology is healthy, results in more positive consequences.
Call up of all the many disciplines about which you lot do non take the slightest noesis, consider all the areas of which you are ignorant and that y'all will make yous a little less proud. The more honest yous are, the more open up you will be, and the less afraid y'all will be because you practise non feel whatever more than anxiety at the thought of existence exposed or revealed in the optics of others.
The consciousness of your own self-worth can be a powerful weapon against doubt and a lack of self-confidence. People who have an accurate and realistic motion-picture show of themselves tend to like themselves better and be more confident than those who have poor or fake self-cognition.
- Reflecting on our potential equally an antidote to self-loathing
The existence of self-hatred is unknown to the Dalai Lama. This reality should remind united states of america how much this agonizing mental disposition, merely like all other negative mental states, is not an inherent role of the human spirit; nosotros are non born with information technology and it is not an enduring feature of our nature. Nosotros tin become rid of information technology.
Office 5: Closing Reflections on Living a Spiritual Life
Chapter fifteen: Basic Spiritual Values
This is how the Dalai Lama puts the final touches on his definition of a happy life: the spiritual dimension.
Recent studies(half-dozen) seem to confirm that organized religion contributes substantially to happiness and ostend that people who are enlightened by whatever organized religion it may generally feel happier than atheists.
According to the Dalai Lama, spirituality is based beginning and foremost on our religious convictions. This is where our greatest liberty lies:
"All religions can make an effective contribution for the benefit of humanity; they are designed to make the individual a happier person and the world a better identify."
The Dalai Lama considers there to be a second level of spirituality, more than of import than the first: simple spirituality. These are the essential homo qualities: goodness, kindness, pity, and concern for others.
Truthful spirituality is a mental mental attitude that we tin can exercise at any time. For instance, if we are tempted to insult someone then let us take our precautions and restrain ourselves. In the aforementioned way, if we are on the verge of losing our at-home, let us be attentive to that and say: "No, this is not the correct way to become."
Internal discipline is the basis of the spiritual life and it is the basic method that can permit us to find happiness. Practicing internal discipline includes meditations which are intended to offer the spirit stability and to achieve a land of tranquility.
Conclusions nearly "The Art of Happiness":
The Art of Happiness presents the precepts of happiness in a clear, albeit sometimes repetitive way. The Dalai Lama offers us a elementary recipe for happiness: maintain positive states of mind and remove negative emotions. Past exercising our listen in goodness, kindness, compassion, and respect for others, we volition find the foundations that are necessary for happiness!!
This book guided united states through our conclusion to change and when setting up our new life. Happiness is an fine art that nosotros cultivate every day, through the open up-mindedness that the Dalai Lama teaches us through its page.
What can this book offer readers?
The wisdom that characterizes the Dalai Lama is very palpable in this volume. For the reader, this wisdom is soothing and energizing, total of positive vibes. This book is a compendium of good intentions and small actions that can exist put into practice every day. Information technology simply reminds the reader that nosotros are solely responsible for our own happiness. So I recommend it. Like Personal Development for Smart People, this volume is undoubtedly extremely interesting and extremely rich
Strengths:
- Fast and like shooting fish in a barrel to read (the chapters are brusque)
- The principles are uncomplicated and obvious
- The gap between Buddhist and Western culture is regularly highlighted
Weaknesses:
- The same ideas are repeated several times in the book
- Some ideas are lacking in illustration
Resources:
(one) Studies performed on twins (writer mention without reference)
(2) A study performed on over one thousand cardiac patients at Duke University Medical Centre
(three) Studies into the benign effects of compassion by the psychologist David McClelland, and James House, Research center of the Academy of Michigan
(4) Study into the beneficial effects of compassion (over 30 years) by George Vaillant with a group of Harvard graduates.
(5) Work by the doctors Redford Williams and Robert Sapolsky (author mentioned without reference)
(6) Research into spiritual values by Ronna Casar Harris and Mary Amanda Dew from the Medical research center of the University of Pittsburgh
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